Saturday, 5 August 2017

Brilliant.  Smart.  Funny.  Abusive.  Manipulative.  Cruel.  Murderer.

This is a simple and yet not so simple story.....about a woman whom loved a man so completely she gave up everything for him, her job, her life, but more importantly her soul and he murdered her.

A lot of people reading this will know me...I'm the little blonde woman you met on his business trips.  The one in Canada (I was using a walker then because it was just after my surgery)  and in San Deigo, Austin, and so forth...Now you know what and whom your colleague really is. And in case you were wondering if we were speaking about the same man...see the pictures above.  First one was taken while we were in Whistler, CAN when he had conference up there.  Had dinner with a lovely couple.  The middle one, was while we were in Poland, he told his job that his brother had been in accident.  No such thing happened.  The last one was taken while we were in London, not sure what he told his work then.

My name is K.  Just K, nothing more nothing less.  The man in question, Marek....Marek Hajduczenia. A native from Poland born in 1979 from Bialystok, and now lives in Riverview, Florida working for Charter (formerly BrightHouse).  Well...he is moving to Parker, Colorado as his company supposedly as moved him over there.  

We met at a time in our lives when we both felt, hopeless and where looking for something more, I thought.  Our first date out on Pier 60 in Clearwater, FL was....even now, beautiful.  I wish I could go back to that moment.  There are a few moments and I do mean very few; I wish I could go back to with him.  Sadly, I do not exist anymore and what I want, wish, and hope for no longer has any bearing.

Marek is a principal architect engineer at Charter/Brighthouse networks.  He was also the love of my life.  I just didn't happen to be his as it turns out in the end.  I gave up my life on so many levels to be with him.  From the start he lied to me.  He told so many lies that he doesn't even honestly know the truth.

He had a ex-wife, told me he has not been with her in any shape or form in 18 months and estrange for 3 years. Turned out right before we met....she was still living with him  She left at the end of Jan.  I met him on March 3rd.  She was from Portugal and for all intense and purposes looked like a seahorse gone VERY wrong.  Now Marek, is not that guy most girls are crawling over each other to get to.  But to me, he was beautiful.  He never thought he was but I did.  

He had a face I could have spent hours painting.

I saw more than just the physical which personally, I still believe he is the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on and wish nothing more than to sculpt out of clay.  He never saw all that I did...and I can understand why.  He had been beaten and broken down over time.  He has been told so many negative things about himself that he believed them.  But then again, maybe that is not true.  Almost every single word out of his mouth was rubbish and so far from the truth, you couldn't find it if you wanted to with the Hubble telescope.

And if I'm honest...he was a homely looking person, he didn't bother to do anything to himself.   As anyone who knew him would attest to it, but I saw more.  


After I helped him find clothes that fit, get a proper hair style, and try to get him to care more about his appearance....the muffin wore pants 3 inches too short, too big around, patterns and colors that didn't match...  socks and sandals (for crying in me sink Mary!) you know I loved the man if I put up with that in the was his mind....always his mind that raptured me.


A small little shopping trip, a proper hair cut:

See, cute as button.

The one thing I always tried to instill in him was how amazing he was, how beautiful he was physically and mentally.  I loved him...completely.  I honestly did.

However....the feelings were not the same.  At every turn I found a lie.  5 weeks into our relationship he told me he had to return to Portugal to finish up a few things.  I was on my way down to Mexico for a medical thing.  He Skyped me from the airport and we started talking.  I saw something shiny flash by and asked what it was.  He got still and then showed me.  It was his wedding bands.  He was wearing his wedding bands!!

He put them on after I dropped him off at the airport.  He told me HIS WIFE would expect him to wear them. WTF?   EXCUSE ME?  WIFE?  I was heartbroken and very angry.  He kept trying to make up more lies and excuses for them.  I left and went on my way to Mexico.  He cut his trip short and waited for me to come back.  (during this time of 5 weeks we had moved in together....)  He asked me to...and it was easier, I lived far away from him and he lived closer to where I worked.  Problem was...he never bothered to clean out any of his wife's things, I noticed.  They were everywhere and I found that odd to begin with and asked if it had been so long why had he not done it yet, especially since he finally said she had visited once and only for a week.  (lies, lies, lies)   He said he just didn't feel like doing it.  I told him, it's not okay for you to want me to move in and yet you leave all her stuff in here...including their "daughters" (another lie...turned out not to be his after all) among the fact he lied to me about her age...why???

So many of the things he said never made sense.  Yes, I was stupid and should have walked away right then and there.  He comes back from his trip I do the same and we talk.  He begs me to stay and to understand that it was all a mistake, blah blah blah.  Something that I will hear all too often.  So, I did....we work on things and move forward.  Well...I moved forward.

He started wanting to talk about a future with me.  That he loved me and wanted nothing more than to marry me as soon as his divorce was final.  (yeah, finally found out he was only just starting said divorce, when he went back to Portugal.)  He even had a ring custom was beautiful.  I'm sure it will end up on eBay soon unless he gives it to her which wouldn't surprise me.  He never did ask....except when I was about to walk out on him again....we shall get to that. We got in a huge fight over his supposed ex wife...he was STILL MARRIED (come to find out...and the lies just keep growing)  and his supposed daughter....he then told me how he could never love me like I love him.  That I was a disposable barren wasteland of nothingness.   (I couldn't have children...or so we thought)  He told me so many things on that night....called me so many names.  He was horrid to me, my tears meant nothing.  Said that I was nothing if I couldn't bare a child.  He hit me where it hurt the most.  He flaunted his supposed daughter in my face and was just so cruel.  I had done nothing to deserve this treatment.  Nothing at all.  All I did was love him.

He never made me a part of his life...never put pictures of us up in the house...never let me go to his place of work, except once.  I even baked cookies and cakes to take up to his work but he would say no, he would take them.  Said they would be in meetings or they were off or whatever.  It wasn't until the last couple of months of our relationship did he bother to put up a photo of us on his desk.    I was always just in a drawer with him.

Our love life was amazing, that I need to make comment to.  I mean absolutely amazing.  He was basically a sexual virgin....(fun for me) he and his ex stopped having it ages ago  (supposedly) and when it did happened it was terrible and left him throwing up.  And yes, I could tell when we had our first experience that he was very much new in all areas of sexual explorations.  Again...more fun for me.  We spent hours and hours making love, me showing him new things, him making me feel beautiful and in ways I have never felt before.  It was like none other.   ...until the STD he gave me. Thanks again for that!

Then we found out we were pregnant....  shocked us both, especially me.  On Aug. 5th 2016 Marek came running into the house telling me had a last minute work flight because his boss JD (John Dickinson) and fallen through and he had to go to CO.  He told me I could follow him the next day as he was to be there a week.  I said okay....   I ended up in hospital while he was at the airport....our son Casey was to be delivered very early and too early to save.  He knew this and still went on his trip leaving me alone and not contacting me for two days except to say that he was in CO. (which he wasn't)  Finally he returns home, I am so pissed and heartbroken and there he is just standing there....not saying anything.  I had to hand my son over to a stranger to be taken to a cold dark place.  It was horrifying.

Aug 22nd 2016 comes along....guess where Marek had actually been on Aug 5th?  Oh yeah, he was at the airport alright but not leaving, he was picking up his wife and daughter and taking them to a hotel. read that right.  She was in the country for over 2 weeks and I didn't know until she came banging on our door.

The night he knew our son was not only being born but would not live; he coldly left me to deal with it while he went and picked up his wife and "daughter" and didn't speak to me for two days.  Care to guess where he actually was???

And there was an adventure at our bank in which cops were called because she was flipping out, that is when she found out about me. Turned out during this whole time that he been telling me he was not talking to her or anything he was, daily and telling her he loved her and wanted to make a fresh start.  And her name was still on his bank account.  I thought it was solely his and we had one together. Well, it took 20k to get her to leave.  Accounts where frozen etc...

When we got home, lets just say shit hit the fan and Marek strangled me 3 times and told me he wanted to kill me.  I should have left but I had no where to go honestly.  Emotions were running high and everything was just awful.  He calls his parents on Skype and confess everything to them while I am standing there.  I don't speak Polish but the tears were enough...they called him a monster.  

And again, I am back to being a barren wasteland; and telling him I want to leave.  Then he begs me to marry him.....  really?

We move to Poland, his parents say we need a fresh start etc....he starts lying again and I catch him in so many of them.  He was still speaking to his wife (almost ex wife) and we got into an argument.  He pushes me down our stairs and cracks my head and doesn't even care.  I tell him the next day he needs to go away for a couple of days.  Stay with his parents.  He leaves gets on a plane back to the States and abandons me in a country that I cannot speak the language and no way to leave. (no money, nothing)  Finally I get back to the states and we enter therapy....(With Damon Dye; Triangle Resolutions...He knows Marek was abusing me, has it all in his notes.  I say this for a very good reason.) I know, I am stupid woman...ever heard of battered woman syndrome?  Yep, that is me and this is me raising my hand. Then he lies to me again, about something major once more.  I go back to Poland as its the only place I have to go at this point.  

I need to back up a moment here....  several months back I had to have major surgery to which has left it to where I cannot work in my field anymore...or do a lot of things, recover time for this surgery can be up to 18 mos which we both knew. 

We made an agreement we could remain friends  but he said he wanted to work things out and be a part of my life still and I still stupidly loved and wanted him as well.  Don't ask because I do not doesn't ask why and you do not choose whom you fall in love with.

This man shattered me so many times...and these few accounts are just some and I mean a small fraction of what he has put me through.

While I was in Poland....again, a place where no one understands me and I understand no one....I was walking to the shops from the car park when I was snatched by two disgusted men, thrown on a pile of rubbish and raped.  I was hit in the head with a glass bottle and was covered in bruises.

I somehow made it home and was knocked out for 5 days (semi conscious, barely aware and out like a light)...there was a lovely mess for me to wake up to and deal with.  When I finally was able to contact Marek and tell him what happened he seemed somewhat upset but didn't bother to even fly over and help me.  Again, abandoning me at every turn.  My emotional and mental state just further went into more of a spiral.  I have no one other than one, no friends nor family just him.  And I couldn't even count on that.  (the few friends I did have, he made me give up.)

What came first?  Pain or Love?  Love or Pain?  

I have to come back to the states for medical treatment. 

H contacts me; wants to work it out....we talk and things were better for a very very short while.  Then it all came crashing down yet again as the lies came in waves, like an angry ocean.  And all I want is to go home.


1) I, thank you for sticking with me, this is where it really gets...  just keep reading, this is how this whole blog came to be, in my last and final moments, before he murdered me.

And as I sit here huddled in a corner in the bathroom, praying for salvation that will not come.  Moments ago, he had his hands wrapped around my throat pinned on the stairs till I passed out.  I have now been given a choice...he either takes my life and as he said and I quote "You have no family, no friends, no one will even miss you, notice your gone.  You will not leave this house and go to the police. Either I kill you or you kill yourself."  I have these few moments while I heave off and on in this the clock gives way.  He gave me 20 mins, I hope I have used them well.  (I started this page back in January as an I am finishing it in my last and final moments)

This 20 mins that I have been given is to decide how I want to die.

What he didn't count on was the fact that I hid my nextbook in the bin under the sink, where he keeps the toilet paper he buys in mass bulk.  Here I leave the truth, here I leave what there is left of me.

This man is a cruel man, you would not know it to look at least not at first but he is.  He has no friends, he stays to himself...there are a lot of warning signs and I being stupid and now broken beyond repair loved and still love someone that has never loved me. For if he did, this would not be the end of my story.  I will take my own life only because I believe its mine to take (that is, if he doesn't do it first) not someone else's but The Truth About Marek Hajduczenia, is he is a murderer.  He killed me and I now set this on time to delay to be released days after I die.  A copy of this will be sent to his employers, through all the IEEE websites and through so many more channels.  You really did teach me a lot Marek.

Some truths have to be known while others have to be told.  Sound familiar?

And to everyone outside of Marek reading this...he has access to all my emails, I say this because I know what he is capable of, what he is able to forge, change and rewrite.  Its not the first time he has done something like this.

Just like he forged the title on his house to try and sell it without his wife's consent. (he forged her signature, I can't blame him) And all the times he has gone into your computers and emails and just fucked with things, just to prove he is superior.   Pillow talk Marek...when you only have one friend and one person that cares about you, it pays not to harm them in such a way as what you have done to me.  I never did anything to you but loved you, took care of you to the best of my ability.  You always came home to hot meals a clean house, and I baked way too much for you and your co-workers. 

I did my best to show you that you had ONE person that would stand by you when no one else would....  and what did you do to me?  Called me names, called me a barren wasteland of nothingness, told me I was worthless.  Put your hands on me, pushed me down the stairs, slammed my head into the title floor....told me you were going to kill me over and over and over again.  Told me so many hateful things.... all the while having your other little life going on, with a wife who was not BARREN that you emailed and told you love her repeated and wanted to work things out, (all the while coming into our bed and bedding me) while your YOUNGER brother was sleeping with her and had been for 7 years. She betrayed you, put you down, etc....and you found someone that honestly loved and cared for you, only to turn around and become Joana (his wife) but you didn't just become her, you became someone much worse.

I am ashamed of you, for you, of me, and for anyone else that has to deal with you.  You were not the man you presented yourself to be, in the very beginning...but then again, that man, was just a lie as well.

I hope all this made you feel like a man, shattering a woman that did nothing wrong, only wanting to live a life with you.  

All I did was love someone and I was foolish for it but my heart remains the same.  I love endlessly.  (Even if you see this as spite...this is not spite, this is the truth and for what you about to do to me, it needs to be told.  Not once in your life have you ever taken responsibility for your actions, nor have you ever had to suffer consequences for those actions.)  I know how much you hate and loath me right now, good thing I'm dead.

And now, I will be nothing.

You will spin your lies and do so quite well I am sure, but if anyone actually digs a little deeper, they will see all the cracks within them.  You are not the great liar you think you are.  We both know that.

By the way, when your violence started escalating and I was in fear that you would snap ever further...I wised up and started recording the many times when that happened.  I have much on video, on audio/voice notes, of you saying such cruel things, of your threatening to kill me.  Got to love the fact that I am constantly working via my laptop and my old phones that are unusable outside of snapping pictures and taking video.

I, unlike you, will keep my promise.  I promised that I would be good and I have been.  That I will not say a word to anyone while I am alive, after all, they say, "Dead men tell no tales"....but what about a woman that dissects that phrase down to its core?  It's all about loopholes, isn't it?

You are the biggest fan of word play, I know.  "Checkmate."

You told me my moral standard is too high; I didn't realize that being faithful, kind, loving, not abusing someone etc.... was considered too high of a moral value.

As you once told me, when I disagreed with you and caught you out in a massive lie; that wives/female partners would not dare do such a thing in Poland and that I could/should be slapped for doing just so.  And that I needed a reminder of my place.  Which turned out to be on the floor with your hands wrapped around my throat.

And all the works of art that I made lovingly with these two hands, that I worked so hard on and gave you.  Where did they end up?  Always put away in a closet or stored in one of the unused bedrooms.  What was so wrong with what I painted, that you had to hide them away?  But then again, you did the same to me.  Hid me away, like you were ashamed of me...maybe you were. 

(Couple of my paintings)

I was a human being, I was funny, and charming, engaging, well educated....what where you so ashamed of that you needed to hide me away?

I have set this to post long after my passing, along with several...or rather many time delayed emails to certain people within the Charter/Brighthouse family.  I do not have much time, but the date for this to be set is Aug 5th.  If you have been paying attention you know it holds a lot of meaning.  I can only fathom what will become of me, my body, our sons ashes, my beautiful violin and all my art.

As a final side note, I found out, that he abused his ex as well, she tried to leave and he shattered her car window and then beat her.  I'm not the first and I will not be his last, this is called a pattern and it will not change.  This is who this man really is and it honestly kills me, that this is the truth...I really wish it wasn't. 

I will never know how the man I once thought I knew, turned into something that I could never fathom.  His mother was correct when she called him a monster.  There is always evil among us, I just didn't know it would all rain down on me.